10 Men to Turn Down (No Matter How Hard They Beg for a Date)

1. The Mama's Boy

Characteristics: Sweet, but soft: he may have a bit of a belly from mom's home-cooked meals, and/or he may actually live at home.
Why You'll Be Tempted: He'll watch chick flicks with you.
Why You Should Run: He's actually already seen them all.
Danger Signs: He tells you you're the woman his mom's always dreamed of, and brings her along on your first date.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "I tend to prefer guys who pick out their clothes themselves."

2. The Slutty Professor

Characteristics: Charismatic, but conceited: the breadth of his knowledge about thousands of fascinating topics pales in comparison to his interest in himself.
Why You'll Be Tempted: Brilliant pillow talk, better grades.
Why You Should Run: Lawsuits can and do damage relationships.
Danger Signs: He grades your papers in bed, and you still don't pass.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "Ombudsman."

3. The Jock

Characteristics: Hunky, tough, always up for a spontaneous game of football, and able to carry off a backwards baseball cap -- sort of.
Why You'll Be Tempted: Those muscles.
Why You Should Run: All the hours he spends at the gym bulking up those muscles, not to mention the hours spent gazing at his reflection in the mirror, in store windows, on the back of his spoon...
Danger Signs: He watches sports on TV constantly, even during sex.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "The [insert local sports team here] stink."

On the next page: The Trendoid, The Womanizer and Mr. Not-So-Straight >>



4. The Trendoid

Characteristics: Well-dressed and confident, he knows the latest fashion trends -- even better than you do!
Why You'll Be Tempted: Flat-front chinos, slick turtlenecks, fashionable belts, cool shoes...what more could you ask for in a man?
Why You Should Run: His wardrobe will make yours look pathetic by comparison.
Danger Sign: He'd rather shop at Prada than have sex.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "Dolce who?"

5. The Womanizer

Characteristics: Whether he's traditionally handsome or a diamond in the rough, there's just something about this guy that makes you swoon. And he treats women like gold because he loves them -- all of them -- so much.
Why You'll Be Tempted: He knows how to compliment, woo, and touch to thrill -- especially thrill.
Why You Should Run: He uses the same routine on every woman he meets.
Danger Sign: He blanks on your name while you're both naked (it's tough to keep all those women straight).
What to Say to Scare Him Away: Two words: "Monica Lewinsky"

6. Mr. Not-So-Straight

Characteristics: Stunning good looks, dashing dresser, hip on the pop culture front, and refreshingly keen on shopping with you.
Why You'll Be Tempted: He really "gets" you.
Why You Should Run: You deserve more than a partner to watch "Will and Grace" with.
Danger Sign: When you both catch yourselves watching Ricky Martin with equal, um, enthusiasm.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "My dad would love to take you hunting."

On the next page: The Wannabe Writer, The Workaholic, The Lonely Guy and the Workaholic >>



7. The Wannabe Writer

Characteristics: He wears sexy glasses and scruffy vintage clothing -- and he ventures nowhere without a journal in hand.
Why You'll Be Tempted: His way with words will win you over.
Why You Should Run: Do you really want to be attached to a struggling artist? No dinners out, no gifts, no movies, no video rentals even...
Danger Signs: He stages real fights and break-up scenes to inspire the plot of his novel.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "I actually thought that 'Clueless' was a great adaptation of Emma."

8. The Workaholic

Characteristics: High-profile business man: smart, ambitious, impeccably dressed, and completely unavailable (unless you're a CEO negotiating a corporate takeover).
Why You'll Be Tempted: He's dapper, charming, and successful. What's not to love?
Why You Should Run: See the "completely unavailable" part above.
Danger Sign: You start calling his office just to talk to his assistant -- since you've become so close over the phone.
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "Love those Democrats. I'd vote for Clinton again if I could."

9. The Lonely Guy

Characteristics: Sweet, romantic (though typically not great in the dancing department), loves planning outings, and thinks that the sun rises and sets right on you.
Why You'll Be Tempted: He's the sensitive guy who everyone says just needs a chance, plus he'll do anything for you.
Why You Should Run: He really will do anything for you, which can be very, very scary.
Danger Sign: He not-so-casually remarks: "Since my other friends are married now, I'm really looking for someone to fill my evenings with." (Translation: "Please, please save me from my horrible crushing solitude.")
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "I love spending time alone."

10. The "Feminist"

Characteristics: Passionate, loves to talk (especially about politics), employed by a non-profit organization, vegan, owns several hemp bags, shirts, and wallets.
Why You'll Be Tempted: His passion for women's issues suggests he will be nothing short of enraptured by you -- a real-live woman. (Bonus: He never watches sports.)
Why You Should Run: While you're certainly no damsel in distress, it would be nice to have a guy do one of the following (all of which are strictly against his beliefs): Open a door, pay for dinner, send you flowers, or simply pick you up in his Volkswagon Bug for your date.
Danger Sign: He spells women with a "y."
What to Say to Scare Him Away: "What I'm really looking for is someone to support me -- in style."


Looking for more love-related laughs? Check out our collection of Worst Date of the Week stories or skim through our library of Girlfriend to Girlfriend Emails.

Plus 50 Ways to Scare Away a Man -- Any Man!



Eileen Livers is the Vice President of Editorial Programming and Charity Curley is the Relationships Channel Producer at iVillage

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