The 10 Second Kiss with Dr. Ellen Kreidman

cl-drellenk: Lady Hawk you have a question??
Ldyhwke31: Yes, I know of a couple that's been together seven years and the woman is very unhappy. He works form four in the afternoon till three in the morning. Can they make it work? What could they do?
cl-drellenk: ldyhwke -- they can remember why they fell in love in the first place. Most couples forget that it's the action that causes the attraction. What they did was kiss, talk, hug, spend time with each other and make each other feel special. If a couple is not doing those things now, how can they still be in love? That's why,at the end of every chapter of my books and tapes, I give the homework assignment, though it's not the kind you got in school.
TWNmisspiggy: Yes, how can you do this if you don't love yourself? I really love hubby, but I hate me.
cl-drellenk: misspiggy -- we always wait until we feel loving before we do something loving and my advice is always to do the loving things without feeling it and the loving feelings will follow.
TWNmisspiggy: So you are telling me to do it for him and it will come for me? I feel bad about it so I guess I take it out on him.
cl-drellenk: Here's an example-- before you kiss, you feel embarrassed, tense, annoyed or distant, but I promise you, if you kiss like you did in the beginning, you will feel close, warm and connected. We don't need to feel anything before in order to kiss. In fact, if you don't feel sexy or romantic right now, I want you to pretend that you do. And you will find that what starts out as pretense becomes real. Carry Grant was once interviewed and asked, "How did you become this sexy man that every women wants?" He said, "When I was a gawky, awkward teenager I was a ladies' man and I don't know when my pretend self became my real self." So a person that is shy and awkward can pretend that they are not and when they get the response from their mate the will get the feeling afterward. Misspiggy, do you think what I said will help at all?

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