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"In marriage, being the right person is as important as finding the right person." -- Wilbert Donald Gough
In the busy whirl of our lives we are expected to take care of so much--kids, home, pets, job, health, appearance, finances--that we might lose touch with our life partner. He/She is big enough to take care of him/herself, we think, relieved that there is one less area that requires our energy.
The truth is, giving to your partner doesn't have to be another detail to add to your long list of "to do's" but has the potential to nourish you as well as deepen the relationship.
Begin fostering a more loving partnership by identifying small actions you might take, for instance:
1. Set up time to articulate your shared goals and dreams. Don't call these meetings "dates" because when life gets busy, it's much easier to erase a "date" from the calendar than to reschedule a meeting.
2. Remember that you are in this partnership for the long haul. There probably isn't as much time or energy to nurture the relationship as you'd like during these years when your children are young, but your time will come.
3. Communicate honestly, directly, and often -- even if it has to be through emails, notes, or phone messages.
4. Banish television--no kidding. Many couples tell me that once they got out of the passive evening television rut, they were able to focus on their partners. Finally the kids are in bed, you're exhausted and it's easier to zone out in front of some droll programming then relate to the person sitting next to you. Your marriage will blossom when you scale back the distractions and use the quiet moments you have to be together.