Balancing Romance and Family
Heart_UV_Love: I want to do something romantic with my husband. I have a gift certificate for a free night in a hotel room with a king-size hot tub. The problem is that we have no babysitter, and money is tight. What else can I do? I want the night to be WOW! I made him a homemade card once that made him cry. It had a picture of our wedding on the front in heart shape with us sharing our first kiss as man and wife. How do I top that? Make another one?
GregGodek: First, about the babysitters: Find 2-3 other couples with kids. Once a week, have all the kids sleep overnight at one couple's house. All the other couples get all night alone. You trade off every week. To touch his heart, find his deepest interests, and do something to act on them.
basketgiver: Greg, how do you keep the fires burning after 20 years of marriage and 3 kids? It is hard when you have a 9-, 13- and 18-year-old watching all the time. We are going to be building a new house and that just creates more tension between us.
GregGodek: It's a matter of priorities. Yes, you have to manage the new house and the kids, but you can't let your relationship slip below, say, 3rd place in your lives. Your kids are a bit older, so they should be able to give you two time at home alone, right? Time alone is not only good, it's necessary for maintaining intimacy.
Getting Him to be Romantic
TeddyRR: I am trying to be more romantic and want to know some little things that can help. I feel the romance needs to be spiced up. I want him to be romantic with me too.
GregGodek: It always helps if you start the romantic ball rolling. If you do something extra-special for your partner, he/she will be more likely to respond in kind. Never, never, never nag about romance. It makes people run the other way. Here are some little things you can do: Write a love letter every day for a week. Attend a lousy movie - on purpose - and sit in the back row and make out! Keep mistletoe hung in your house year-round.
TeddyRR: How do you make him more romantic - without pushing? I try to pass hints, but he doesn't get it.
GregGodek: Hints are too subtle for some people. Some people actually appreciate lists of things they could do to please their partner.