1001 Ways to be Romantic Q&A with Greg Godek

dancetilnite : How do I get my husband to be more romantic? I can even tell him I want sex, and he still doesn't show any interest. It is now our little joke, but I don't think it is funny.

GregGodek: You have to find out what he REALLY, REALLY likes. What really motivates him? And you use that to BARTER with him. In other words: "I'll do this for you, if you'll do that for me." This technique is NOT a romantic process, but it does have a romantic result. It sounds like your husband is satisfied with the status quo, and you're not. The person who is dissatisfied with the way things are has to take the ball and run with it. What would make him happy/smile/excite him/please him? Something sexual? A favorite food? Doing him a favor? For some guys, if you did his chores on Saturday afternoon, he would kiss your feet! For some guys, it's a sexual favor: If you did a certain something, he'd be your slave for a day! For other guys, they'd love a certain gadget. For other guys, it might be a favorite meal. The best romance is the most SPECIFIC. In other words, move beyond 'Generic Romance,' that is, all the expected stuff. For example: Roses, chocolate, dinner, candy, movies and champagne. The more specific to him/her, the better.

Romantic "Accessories"

pickle_mom: Do guys like outfits or toys best or both? I'm trying to surprise my husband with something special for Valentine's Day, but I'm not sure what. We already know where we are going. Now I just need the night plan. Should I get lingerie, toys or both? What's too much?

GregGodek: Lingerie works fine 99% of the time! This is a very individual thing, of course! Men tend to like black and red. Some women prefer white and pink. (This IS a generalization.) Some guys like "frilly": Teddies and stuff. Some guys prefer slinkier: Garter belts and stuff. Suggestion: Sit down with a Playboy magazine and discuss the photos. It's a real eye-opener. No pun intended.

To get your romantic motor humming, check out these ideas from Greg and other iVillage members. Also, share your romance triumphs and trials in one of our message boards.

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