- Wear something revealing such as a lace bodysuit with no bra or a slinky, high-neck dress that snuggles against your skin. Never mind if there are little puffs of flesh here and there. Let go of your expectations about how it's "supposed" to look.
- Get in touch with your inner child. Think of the playful you, and tap into the memories of Valentine's Day when you were young. Before hearts and flowers meant something to you as an adult, Valentine's Day was a celebration filled with anticipation and laughter. Remember the fun you once had, handing out those little lace and red construction paper doilies or grabbing a handful of those sweet hard candies with romantic words like "I love you" or "You are cute!" Those were the days of innocence, when your romantic notions were simple and alive. The focus was on sending a message about your interest or your love. Get back into that wonderful space again, if even just for a day.
- Try not to wait until the last minute to make a beauty plan. Don't spend the last daylight hours before your date or dinner reservation at the salon getting a new haircut that you may not like -- or worse, getting a bikini wax. Ouch! Be prepared and spend the time you need to feel ready for romance again.
- Never tell yourself that you are not pretty enough, smart enough or valuable enough if a lover doesn't ask you out this year. Find things to do that are going to enrich your day, such as being with good friends, indulging yourself at a spa or taking the kids to a funny movie. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself is exactly what you should do. Don't use negative self-talk to put yourself into a downward mood.
- Avoid overdoing it, trying to do everything for everyone. Let the kids go somewhere else for the night, or get your hubby out of your way so you can prep and pamper yourself into a real state of feeling sexy. Keep your day simple, focus on your pleasure and sharing love, and let all else subside.
- Don't stress over doing it right. Let yourself enjoy the process of planning and stay in the moment of your special day. Whether you are alone or with a loved one, remember that your sexual pleasure is a journey, not a destination.