12 Tried and True Rules for Dealing with Your Ex after Divorce

6. Revel in independence:  "For the first month after I left my husband, I was worried about whether I could still be a stay-at-home mom, and be able to take care of my family financially. Once I figured out how I could, even though it's really hard, I haven't thought about going back once. The thing is, my ex is still sad and a little angry, but he always was. The real difference now is I am not a part of those feelings." --iVillager lexma2000

7. Keep your gripes to yourself: "I used to try to talk to my STBX when I had issues with him (all the time). But I didn't get results. I just got really mad. How could he be so …? Finally, I realized the best way to keep my own sanity was to stop calling him. He doesn't agree with me? I say, "Fine," and the more I say it, the more I believe it." --iVillager spiritual_soul

8. Say no to seduction: "Sex with the ex? Whatever he says and however he looks, stand firm and don't even let him wish!" --iVillager mrosti

9. Kill him with kindness: "If you think your ex is being cold and callous do not lower yourself to his standards. Keep your head held high, and act as if you don't feel hurt. Sure, that will irk him. But the real reason you should do it: Staying positive will ultimately cheer you up!" --iVillager auntiekimberly

10. Get a little mushy: "You know how Jerry Maguire said, "You complete me," and the love songs always say, "There was an empty space in my life before you came along"? I've used the line and love those songs, but I've outgrown the notion. If I learned one thing from this failed marriage, it's that I have to be a whole person myself before I can build a solid, healthy relationship with anyone else. So I'm off to do whatever it takes to achieve everything I've always wanted!" --iVillager roni0630

11. Treat yourself: "I am trying to learn to sit back a bit and do more of just enjoying life for me, instead of stressing myself to make everything perfect for other people. Especially to "get through" the holidays, I need extra pampering, and now, I am the only person who can make sure that happens. So for Christmas, I'm buying myself a present I really want. For Thanksgiving, I'll make sure that the one dish I want is on the table, and I'll do one fun thing to cherish it being a day off from work. I mean, why should I get a day off and spend 18 hours standing in the kitchen next to a hot oven? LOL." --iVillager rosemile

12. Learn, grow, change: "In the beginning, I never thought that I would make it. Now I am only six months down the road alone with my five-year-old and seven-week-old, but I am already feeling better. We have tough times, but overall are great! Which means we will make it without him! Maybe it's hard to go through those negative emotions, but it's worth it to realize how strong I really am. One day you will look back and see how strong you have become too. Hang in there -- it will all be okay!" -iVillager kyky5smom

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