2014: The Year of the Lazy? 3 Stupid New Gadgets Nobody Should Buy

What do these new health devices say about our ability to function in our everyday lives?

Technology is simply amazing. In a nutshell, its purpose is to simplify and improve our lives, both personally and professionally. However, by the looks of a few of the latest health inventions, I have a feeling some of these high-tech geniuses may be writing a new book series, “Everyday Living for Dummies.”

Yesterday we featured the vibrating fork that will buzz when you’re eating too fast and blink as a way of saying, “Good eater.”

Then today, we came across a few more gadgets that made us stop and think, “Umm, shouldn’t a normal, able-bodied person be doing this without even thinking?”

Introducing:

The June Bracelet

The June Bracelet

Netatmo

Alerts the wearer to protect their skin from the harsh rays from the sun. Set to debut in mid-year, this accessory suggests how much sunscreen to apply and when.

Cost: In the $100 range

Immediate thoughts: Yes, sunscreen should be worn everyday. Got it. I also don’t need a piece of jewelry to inform me when my skin is cooking in the warmer months. And assuming the $100 price tag does not come with a dark-haired cutie who will be lathering SPF lotion on my balmy skin, I’ll just do it myself for free.

The Kolibree Toothbrush

The Kolibree Toothbrush

Kolibree

Relies on an app to inform the brusher when he/she has missed a spot. A spokesperson for the company told the Daily Mail, “It’s like having a dentist inside your phone.”

Cost: About $100 

Immediate thoughts: I have never lived with a dentist, so I certainly don’t need an imaginary one taking up living space in my iPhone. Sounds like a useful gag gift for the unkept tween boy, but I don’t live with one of those, either. Oh yeah, and I know how to brush, but thanks.

The Tao Wellshell

The Tao Wellshell

Tao-wellness.com

Offers an aggressive person an object to squeeze that will not only release their frustration, but also improve body strength.

Cost: Between $200 and $300.

Immediate thoughts: What? Am I the only one who’s heard of phoning a friend and bitching to anyone who will listen? While this device can also “be used as an activity tracker to monitor your heart rate, sleep duration and quality, steps walked and distance traveled,” according to IDG Connect.com, the only thing that frustrates me is knowing that a brilliant techie is creating gadgets for the “mindless” public, making us even more dependent on technology than we should be.

I say no thanks to any of these. Just use your brain. Your wallet will thank you.

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