Fred, age 28, told us what qualities attracted him to older women: "The experiences in life that they've had make them more grounded and realistic."
When asked what a mature woman offered him that he couldn't find in a younger woman, Fred answered: "Emotional stability. Need I say more? There have been nothing but positives in my relationships with two older women. They were able to see things in me that I could not see in myself. Also, there were levels of honesty unlike anything I've experienced even with best friends.
Fred gave us a wealth of information over several interviews. Open, upbeat and extremely handsome, he revealed the enormous love and respect he shared with his former partner and now shares with his current partner.
Fred's first older-woman experience occurred when he was 21 years old and Gretchen was 37. They lived together for two years. They are both still very close and see each other regularly. Not only did they have a tremendous friendship as the basis of their relationship, but an extraordinary sex life as well.
After his relationship with Gretchen ended, Fred tried dating girls in their early twenties. He explained, often quite humorously, how ridiculous he felt trying to have meaningful conversation over blaring music at a dance club. His brief experimentation with younger females only reaped endless head games, confusion and immature behavior. Resolutely, Fred abandoned the "young woman trial period." He knew he liked older women and that was his standard. He decided this time to accept it.
His next relationship was with Marla, a co-worker. They were great friends and then she began to pursue him.
Why not? he thought. She was older. Maybe it would work. But Marla's flaw seemed to be that she was only five years older
After a year or so of taking a "time-out," Fred met Lynne. She is 10 years older. Fred's respect and appreciation of older women was clear when he spoke: "The way mature women carry themselves shows they know who they are. It equates to stability. They've already figured out who they are. Maybe not all the time, but a lot more often than younger women. They are all-around much more attractive to me.
"Also, they are much more experienced with life. You know this is the kind of person who's going to tell you exactly what they want and they are more sure of themselves than the people my age or younger. Older women are much more well rounded
"It's easier to have a relationship with an older woman, because she knows how to communicate what she wants. It has a snowball effect all the way around.
"I have a preference for women starting at about 10 years older than myself and up. It's adventurous for both of us, because it's a whole new exciting journey. Younger women just don't allow me to grow in the ways older women do."
Not all older woman/younger man relationships last forever, but Fred's answer to how he handled the ending of his relationship with an older woman was especially insightful: "I went on with my life and took with me many memories and experiences that made me mentally and emotionally rich. I considered it a hell of a jump-start on life."