30 days of GREAT SEX

Step 3: Get in Touch with Your Sensual Side

In the last step, we talked seriously about passionate kissing and foreplay as kindling for great sex. Now, we're going to start focusing on your sensual self. We all have five basic senses -- sight, hearing, smell, taste and touch. Believe it or not, by engaging all of your senses you will begin to move into a new realm of your own sexuality, and your lover will thank you in more ways than you can imagine! Trust me.

Here are some creative ways to engage your five senses this week. Do these exercises and watch your sex life improve.

Sight: Buy yourself something sexy to wear and encourage your partner to do the same. For you, it may be a black velvet, slinky dress or a shimmering teddy from your favorite lingerie store. Even a good push-up bra that really shows your cleavage can do the trick. Or you may choose to wear a rhinestone chain or Indian silver anklet to anchor your sense of femininity at all times. For your lover, try a pair of those yummy pure silk boxer shorts. Using something physical to connote an emotional or psychological state is a good tool.

Sound: Talking to each other during intimate moments can do wonders for your sex life. But not everyone is comfortable doing this. Women often tell me they are shy or embarrassed to talk to their mate during or about sex. To build confidence, work on your voice privately. Record yourself into a tape recorder while you practice saying sexy things to your partner, such as, "I want you to ____ me," or, "Tell me what you want me to do to you." After listening to yourself, work on changing your tone as you see fit, to create a more sensual style.

Another great way to use sound to improve your sex life is with CDs. I am a huge fan of using environmental CDs to augment your ability to relax. After all, relaxation is one of the keys for sexual satisfaction. Why not order one of the soothing, harmonious alarm clocks from www.now-zen.com to awaken you both from slumber and into early pleasures?



Smell: Head to the nearest perfume counter and explore several new scents. Or go online and order some of those pheromone scents that claim to make wearers more alluring. (Pheromones are the hormones that animals and humans emit to attract mates.) Explore carefully to assure that the perfumes you purchase are the real McCoy. You may also want to experiment with scented oils and other aromatherapy products. Use them in a romantic bath; set candles on your bedside; cook with passion-producing products.

Taste: The first step is to get control of your dental health and hygiene. Floss daily and keep your pearly whites just that. You will be surprised how much better you feel about yourself when you can see a bright smile flashing back at you in the mirror when you brush each morning. Also, try using food to spice up your sex life. In my latest video, Erotic Seduction: Dressing and Undressing for Sex (available at www.lovingsex.com and www.yoursexcoach.com), I discuss an adventuresome couple who show how food can be used for seduction. Head to the kitchen with your partner or bring some of your favorite foods to bed and experiment.

Touch: To engage your sense of touch, why not start with some self-pampering? Take yourself to a spa or personal care salon this week and indulge in a special skin treatment. Invest in quality lotions for smooth skin or get a professional facial. Glowing and healthy skin is a big turn-on for men and makes you feel better about yourself, too. In fact, the biggest sex organ is the skin. So make yours silken! Sharing sensual massage is another good exercise I encourage you to try this week. It's one the preludes for great sex. My favorite video is The Lover's Guide to Massage and Intimacy from Pacific Media (1-800-272-7367).

By engaging all five senses and enhancing that wonderful body you call "home," you will enjoy your own sexuality in new ways. Your man will also find you more appealing as you look, taste, smell, sound and feel better than ever before. Remember to record all of your insights and incredible gains this week in your Love Journal.

Another great way to use sound to improve your sex life is with CDs. I am a huge fan of using environmental CDs to augment your ability to relax. After all, relaxation is one of the keys for sexual satisfaction. Why not order one of the soothing, harmonious alarm clocks from www.now_zen.com to awaken you both from slumber and into early pleasures?

Share your experiences with other iVillagers in the Ask the Sex Coach discussion group!

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