30 Days of Great Sex

Step 2: Foreplay, New-Millennium Style

What if you decided, along with your playmate, to limit regular old sex for 30 days and, instead, tried out new ways of relating with your minds, hearts, mouths and bodies? That's just what this doctor is ordering to get you to new heights of shared intimacy and off-the-scale pleasure. You don't have to abandon sex entirely, but at least for this week, try to keep your clothes on! Believe me, it will pay off -- and add delight to your forays between the sheets.

Ask yourself this: What are the qualities in a mate or lover that get my motor running?

The first step is to start a "love journal." This can be a velvet-bound notebook, electronic organizer or any other device that appeals to your fancies and that you will use. Keep your journal in a place where you can get to it in those early hours of the day, before workaday doings have gotten your brain cells too distracted. This is the best time to "journal," a reliable technique for inner growth and personal assessment that has been recommended for centuries. Use your love journal to answer the following questions: What turns me on sexually? What are the qualities in a mate or lover that get my motor running? (Is it having my hair brushed, being growled at with a flirtatious smile over a cup of steaming coffee or reading sexy love notes left on the fridge? Is it a well-developed backside, messy hair, or feeling warm breath all over your neck?) Try to focus on every possible aspect of what gets you started. Write down every

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