Sex provides some of life's most intoxicating moments '- and some of its biggest downers. Whether your experience has weighed heavier on the ups or the downs depends entirely on your "sexual blueprint." We all have one. It's our brain's reference for how we feel and think about sex. Influenced by everything we're presented with sexually, it starts forming in our subconscious on the day we're born. If you've been exposed to positive and healthy people and events, your blueprint will be positive, and your sex life will thrive. But if your sex life isn't as fabulous as you'd like it to be, it's time to figure out why '- and break the pattern. It comes down to these four saboteurs.
The genes you inherit influence your personality, your relationships with other people and your sex drive. If your mother or father had a high or low libido, there's a good chance you do too. We're all products of the generation before, and our parents' attitudes toward sex heavily influence our own. If you grew up with strict, religious parents who shuddered at the sight of bare knees and stuck to the stork story until you were 20, you will obviously have a different sexual blueprint from someone whose parents walked around naked and sent the kids off on dates with a wink and a condom. Even if you end up with strongly opposing views '- which often happens if parents' attitudes toward sex were extreme '- you're still reacting to their initial viewpoint. How your mother and father relate to each other sexually also has an effect. We learn how men treat women, how women treat men and how a sex life functions by the way our parents behave toward each other.