Not everyone has the luxury of an hour to devote to sex every day, or even every week. But 15 minutes? Now that we can handle! In this excerpt from her book Quickies, iVillage sex expert Tracey Cox explains why quick sex is the best sex to...
...Perfect Your Hand Job
The humble hand job comes into its own ‑- literally ‑- during sex in public places. Apart from kissing, using your hands is the lowest-risk sexual activity ‑- and since it's how lots of us masturbate, the genitals respond nicely to the right type of touch. "Right" usually means she should do it harder and he should go softer (it's what each sex is most used to). Not much time? Go for a superfast orgasm for her by positioning her (sitting or standing) in front of you. Rest one palm on the top of her pubic bone and press down firmly, pushing forward, pulling back or moving in circles. Next, insert (well-lubricated) fingers: one inside her vagina, the other in her anus. It's a three-way she won't mind you suggesting ‑- or repeating. Blow him away (in all senses) by trying this technique: Twist your hands in opposite directions as you move up and down (one clockwise, one counterclockwise) or make two fists around his penis, hold them centrally, then move one downward and the other upward. Use one-word questions to ask for feedback (harder? faster?) so he only has to answer yes or no. Keep the rhythm constant, building up to a fast speed, then slow it down dramatically before moving back up again. Repeat several times, letting him hover on the brink, before tipping him over with a decided flourish.
Romance isn't hijacked by time. A 30-second meeting of mouths is all it takes to turn a quickie into sweet, tender lovemaking. Kissing is the first thing to go in a long-term relationship: Resurrect it and you'll save more than just your sex life. But it's not just dulled passion or overfamiliarity that stops some couples from puckering up. If you actually don't like the way your partner kisses, you'll be more than happy to plunk it in the "things we used to do, but what long-term couple still does?" basket. There's a simple but effective game you can try to fix this. It's called "kisses around the world," and it's best suggested when you're both a little giggly and buzzed and snuggling up after a great night out. Give your partner a little peck, then say "I wonder if people kiss differently around the world? I wonder how Eskimos really kiss. Probably like this..." Then proceed to kiss like an Eskimo, rubbing noses with him. He'll laugh, so it's easy enough from there to say "What about Italians, I think they'd kiss like this..." before you launch into that one. "How would a French person kiss?" you ask playfully, letting him in on the game. From there it's simply a case of saying "God, that French/Italian/Swedish kiss was hot. Can you do it again?" The next time he kisses you, whisper, "Do it Italian style" and voila! You've transformed an abysmal kisser into a great one ‑- with no one's feelings hurt in the process! If you can't reach each other's lips during certain quickie positions, bite, kiss or lick the body part closest to you. The more aroused we are, the more dulled our pain receptors ‑- the reason why a nip on the neck feels erotic during sex but just hurts the rest of the time.
...Up Your Portfolio
The average couple alternates between the same three to four positions each time they have intercourse, despite there being more than 600 documented positions to choose from. Before you nominate yourselves for Sad Couple of the Year by fitting right into this category, seek refuge in the fact that virtually all are variants of five basic positions anyway. Besides, certain positions suit certain situations ‑- and moods. Tackling that upside-down one that makes the blood whoosh straight to your head could be just the thing when you're feeling energized and adventurous. Not so appealing when you've got a thumping headache and have just worked a 12-hour day. Quickies provide a great way to try out new, more difficult positions so you can expand your position portfolio. If you don't have to stay at it for long, you're much more likely to attempt something more challenging! Too tired to do anything but missionary? Spice up an old favorite by adding a twist: During intercourse, try mirroring your mouth action to his thrusting, so your tongues are imitating the action of his penis. Once you've mirrored the thrusting speed, you can slow him down or speed him up as you please by simply altering your tongue speed. He'll subconsciously try to keep pace.
...Make the Most of Her on Top
Given that thrusting is usually his job, some women aren't confident masters of the old in-and-out and struggle using just their thigh muscles. Again, far less threatening if she knows it's just a quickie and she's not in it for the long haul; it's much more likely she'll give it the old college try. Next time, get her to make like a frog and squat so her feet are on the floor ‑- it allows much more leverage. Switch her over so she's on top when she's feeling body-proud, horny as hell and in the mood to be boss. If she needs further convincing tell her this: Rear-entry or any position where she's sitting or squatting over you works best to stimulate a patch of supersensitive skin about two-thirds of the way up from the vaginal entrance on the front wall of the vagina. Nicknamed the "A" spot, it's way up there and hard to reach with fingers, but deep penetration positions sometimes do the trick. Once she's had her (first) orgasm, switch back into missionary. It's got a goody-goody, prissy reputation, but there's a reason why most of us use it a lot of the time: There's full body and eye contact and you can touch faces and hold hands. An intimate ending to a lusty start. Slide a pillow under her hips to turn predictable into predictably pleasurable.