Joe T., a 30-year-old married computer technician in Denver, confirms, "For years I spent every Friday night at a singles bar till I realized I was just pretending to have fun drinking and smoking and hitting on pretty girls who weren't interested. The thought of staying home and chilling seemed much more appealing." Rob F's epiphany came via a shocking realization. The 36-year-old recently married lawyer from New York recalls, "I started not wanting to bed models because I'd have to struggle through a conversation afterward."
He's Financially Independent
Tina Tessina, Ph.D., a California psychotherapist, explains, "Men do have a biological clock, but their timing is different from women. Most men's priorities tend to be focused on winning financial security before having a family. If he's still struggling to pay his bills, he's not going to want to add the burden of supporting a wife." To take it further, the man you're looking for is a grown-up
Julia, a 27-year-old Philadelphia paralegal, says, "I had a definite type: ski bums and musicians who waited tables to make money. They were sexy as hell, but I was expected to pay for most dates and they'd be reluctant to ask me out for New Year's, never mind the rest of my life. I was miserable. Something had to change." That "something" was her type: The next time Julia went to a singles dance, she tried something new. Instead of seeking out a drummer with six-pack abs, she met an accountant. He may have lacked a hard body, but he did have a loving heart and a steady job and, most importantly, the urge to merge. They're planning a wedding.