4 Ways to Find -- and Keep -- Mr. Right

These days, it takes a village -- an iVillage, that is -- to help a girl find the guy of her dreams. That's why we're proud to present Best Advice on Finding Mr. Right. Compiled by iVillage staffers, this book is full of your answers to fellow visitors' most frustrating dating questions. Want a sneak peek? In the excerpt below, you'll find solutions to four of the top dating dilemmas of all time. (For more advice, you'll have to read the rest of the book!)

"I just had a date that went really well. We had dinner, got drinks and he walked me home. But when we got to my door -- no kiss. I've always thought you are supposed to end a good date with a kiss. Am I wrong?" --M.C.

"I dated a guy once who waited four dates to kiss girls he really liked to make it more special. If you don't get a kiss, he may be old-fashioned. Or he may really like you and he's waiting so it will be special."

"At some point in the date, decide whether or not you're interested in kissing him. That way, when the end of the night comes, you'll know what you want to happen and you'll be able to make the circumstances such that what you want is more likely to occur."

"There is no hard-and-fast rule about kissing on the first date. There's nothing wrong with a kiss (if you'd like to go out again), but there's no guarantee that it will happen, either."

"Many men have said to me that they thought I wasn't interested after our first date because I walked away so quickly or only shook their hand. To make it light and easy, I suggest saying, 'I had fun meeting you. If you want to do it again, you have my email address.' That way it's nonthreatening but encouraging, and you don't have to worry about kissing on the first date."

And there's more great advice where this came from! Check out these sections now:



"I have been dating a guy for almost five months now. He is everything I have looked for, but he has told me repeatedly that he is not looking for something serious. I really like him and would like to keep seeing him, but this is breaking my heart. How patient should I be?" --N.T.

"If you have strong feelings for him, give him space but keep yourself available to other opportunities. In these scenarios, only time will tell."

"Don't put your hopes on a man's fear of commitment changing overnight. Decide if you are willing to accept being part of his life on his terms. If you are, prepare yourself for whatever happens. He has made it clear that he makes no promises, so consider yourself warned."

"If you are exactly what he's looking for, he should have no problem getting into something serious with you. A guy who meets a woman he is sure is right for him doesn't hold her at arm's length. You can wait it out and hope his feelings change, but there is no guarantee that they will. Or you can move on to find a great guy who does want to be with you without hesitations."

"Don't wait around for him to get his act together. Go merrily along your way. Get some hobbies, get active, spend time with friends and -- most important -- date other men. Many times when a man figures out that a woman doesn't need him to be her everything, he will become more interested."

"I'd like to introduce the man I've been dating to my parents without making too big a deal out of it. Any advice?" --E.L.

"Invite your parents and your man out to dinner. Meet at the restaurant, have a nice meal, talk about small things and make sure you pay since you asked them out. This way your parents don't have home-court advantage."

"Think of something he does well -- whether he's a barbecue king, an expert fly fisherman or great with kids. Then try to incorporate that talent into the event so that he has a chance to look competent and charming. He will have something to distract him from all the pressure, and he can relax and be himself."

"Invite him over to your parents' house casually by saying something like 'You're welcome to stop by the barbecue.' But avoid anything that sounds like 'It's time to meet my family because you're the one.'"

"Be considerate of your man in this situation -- he'll be trying to negotiate your family dynamic, which has been set for years, so he's the visiting team. Give him a leg up by having the meeting at your apartment or somewhere else where he's comfortable. Think about it: Would you rather meet his parents at their house, or somewhere where you feel more at home? Offer him the same consideration."

"I have been dating a wonderful guy. My dilemma is whether or not to tell him that I love him. I want to tell him how I feel, but I don't want to make things weird." --I.L.

"Don't say 'I love you' with the hopes of hearing it in return. If you want to know how he really feels about you, look at how he treats you and how you feel when you are with him. Words can be said without meaning at any time. Do you feel loved when you are with him? That is all that matters. If you don't push the issue, the words will come when he is ready and when they have actual meaning."

"If you really want to tell someone you love him, you should. I've been the first to say it in a couple of relationships and have never regretted it. Why hide your feelings? Maybe telling him will start a dialogue about how he feels about you."

"I've learned that life is too short to keep my romantic feelings hidden, and to feel secure enough about myself to share my affection. I am realizing that the key to knowing when to say 'I love you' is feeling secure with who you are independently and in your relationship."

"Bottom line: Love is a risk. Every time you put yourself out there and make yourself vulnerable, you might get hurt. That's how it works. It's not easy, but when you find someone who feels the same way you do, it's worth it. Just remember that you probably will never find the pot of gold if you don't risk stepping out to look for it."

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