Picture this. After spending an incredible night together, you're lying in bed with your partner and feeling more connected than ever. The only thing that could make this post-seduction scene cozier is talking about just how cozy the post-seduction scene is. But just as you're about to whisper, "What are you thinking?" in his ear, you stop. Why? To avoid the deer-in-the-headlights look from your partner.
You're not alone. When it comes to relationships, most women want to know everything that a man is thinking. His secrets are often considered little enemies, capable of tearing the relationship apart. But nothing could be farther from the truth. In fact, it's absolutely necessary for each partner to have his or her own personal world -- thoughts, feelings and boundaries that belong to him or her and no one else. So what's a well-intentioned woman to do? Read on to find out which topics are better left untouched -- and why. If the following five questions never leave your lips, it just might be music to your man's ears. Take a look:
1) Are you attracted to other women?
Don't pry into this. Some women keep asking their man whether or not he is attracted to other women. A man who doesn't look at anyone or feel anything for other women is either very old, very tired or just plain lying. There is nothing wrong with a man who looks at and admires other women, as long as he does it discreetly, doesn't make a show of it in front of other people and doesn't use it to make you insecure or competitive with the other women. Looking at and responding to others doesn't necessarily mean he doesn't find you desirable or is comparing you. Most men fuel their sexuality and fantasies by admiring women. If you ask him to talk about it, not only will it make you nervous, but he might feel embarrassed and exposed as well. He will feel unable to do what he does naturally, without being censured. Enjoy his love for you and leave this one alone.
2) What happened in your past relationships?
Some women become obsessed with finding out everything about their man's past. They need to know if they measure up to ex-girlfriends or wives, if he's as happy with them as he was before and if he's really over a past heartbreak. There's no need to probe any of these issues.
You might be especially concerned about what went wrong with your guy's previous relationships. Remember, though, he might have been a very different man then, and he probably learned from his mistakes. Try not to hold his past wrongs against him because chances are he doesn't want to be reminded of them. He doesn't want you to see him in a bad light. Let him be the person he is now. Let him feel good about how he is with you, and not dragged through memories of what he did (or didn't do) with other partners. When you let the past be the past, that is where it will stay.