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Sex Sin #3: Not Knowing Thine Own Body
Most women have their first orgasm solo because, unlike men's, our orgasms aren't an easy process. While he's struggling to control embarrassing, impromptu erections on the train or desperately counting backwards from 500 in a bid not to orgasm in class, most girls are doing quite the opposite. We're locked away in a darkened room trying to figure out what buttons to press, and how to make something happen, desperately hoping our flatmate doesn't barge in before it does. Frustrating? Yes. But ultimately worth it: 95 percent of women who masturbate can orgasm that way. In fact, if you're a female who has never masturbated, it's extremely likely you've never had an orgasm in your life.
Get over It
If you're not as orgasmic as you'd like to be, put in the effort now to figure out why. Experiment with different masturbation techniques and touches until you hit on some that are consistently successful and partner-friendly. Pay attention during sex. Be aware of what you're enjoying and what's not so nice. Think about past sex sessions, old lovers and fantasies about new ones until you're confident you have a clear map of your individual sexual response system in your head. Above all, ditch any ridiculous expectations that you don't have to work at your sex life. We all tend toward a presumption that good sex magically "just happens." But the reality is, six years into a relationship you won't be as passion-hungry as you were six weeks after meeting him. Why is it that we accept that our bodies and faces will age over time, and will need more work to keep them looking good, yet we assume our sex and love lives will require zero effort from both parties? Recognize that you have to work at it, and you'll see more long-term results.