5 Things Not to Do Outside When It's This Ridiculously Cold Out

...unless you have a really high threshold for stupidity and pain

Thanks to some Arctic shenanigans, it’s dangerously cold outside for most of the country this week. Just in case you thought it was okay to go frolic in the frost, let us set the record straight: it’s not. In fact, here are 6 other things you probably shouldn’t do, either.

The Ol’ Stick-Your-Tongue-on-a-Metal-Pole.

The Ol’ Stick-Your-Tongue-on-a-Metal-Pole.

Funny2.com

Don’t do this. Your tongue will, very truly, stick to the pole and it’s painful to get it off. Miley, you might want to put that thing away until this storm blows over.

Throw Boiling Water Around

Youtube

There are tons of videos showing people throwing boiling water into the air and ooh-aah-ing as it turns into snow right before their eyes. But be careful, it doesn’t always go so smoothly. (Some NSFW language here, since the guy just got sprayed with boiling water.)

Open Your Eyes

Youtube

You know, because they can FREEZE (if you’re out too long.) Learn more about this madness.

Jump on a Trampoline

Vine

Unless you want to risk getting poked by a bunch of tiny ice knives, skip this one.

Go Swimming

Go Swimming

Scott Olson/Getty Images News

You can probably walk on Lake Michigan, skate on Lake Michigan, or even carve huge ice blocks out of Lake Michigan but forget your Polar Bear Club dreams -- swimming is out of the question.

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