5 Tips for Finding a Husband within a Year

What are the chances that you'll be sporting an engagement ring at this time next year? Probably better than you think -- even if you're not dating anyone right now. We asked five popular dating experts to offer up their number one piece of advice for finding a mate, and here's what they had to say:

  • Don't give up so quickly. "Go on second dates. It's too easy to write someone off after a bad or awkward first meeting. Give the borderline guy another chance. If you spend the night wishing time would fly versus having time fly by too quickly, then you'll know you've given it your best shot." --Sherry Amatenstein, iVillage Dating Doyenne

  • Play games -- sort of. "A single woman determined to find a husband as soon as possible needs to play hockey. She needs to take as many shots on goal as possible. The number one problem both sexes have in finding mates is not making an effort. Of course, the vast majority of the shots on goal will fly wide of the net. And sometimes, you'll fall on the ice. But eventually, your puck will find the right spot." --Matt Katz, columnist, "The Date Line" in the Courier-Post of Cherry Hill, NJ

  • Have faith and be confident. "Don't believe those crusty old dating myths about a lack of available men -- all you need is one great man. They are looking for you with as much longing, nervousness and anxiety as you feel. A man may be shy and nervous about how to approach such a fabulous woman like you. With this advice and attitude, you can assure yourself. Then you'll stand taller, smile more, be more approachable and in essence become a man magnet. Have fun and enjoy flirting. One of these days will be the day before you meet your husband." --Marilyn Graman and Maureen Walsh, relationship seminar leaders and authors of There Is NO Prince -- a Guide to Having the Relationship You Want

    Ready for Mr. Right? Click here to get more advice on how to find a husband by the next new year.



  • Be available and give him an unforgettable kiss. "Suck it up and approach men. The biggest problem I see is that women have almost no insight into how difficult it is for many, many men to approach women. Many decent, good-husband-in-waiting guys have a smidge of low self-esteem -- this is good! According to many jackass self-help books of the '80s and '90s, low self-esteem is a personality defect. But when this was put to science, researchers found that kind, compassionate people who made good mates will often score slightly below the bar on self-esteem tests. Whereas ugly, nasty people -- thieves and other ne'er-do-wells -- often have healthy self-esteem scores.

    "Many women are single through their 40s because they are working too much (or using work as a crutch) and giving up valuable social time. Sound familiar? Then buy a digital timer and set it to ring at 5 or whenever is the absolute earliest you can leave work -- and leave.

    "Another critical tip is to learn how to kiss -- really kiss. A lot -- believe me, a lot -- of great-looking women never learned how to kiss or how to be seductive during those early physical moments in a relationship, and they have no clue how badly they stink at it. The kiss is the first foray into the realm of sex for a budding couple, and if a guy has his choice of attractive women (and this is the type of guy you want), you want to make sure each step to physical intimacy makes him crave more." --Ron Geraci, dating expert and writer

  • Promote yourself. "Initiate a 'direct mail campaign.' Just like in the business world, you need to send targeted communications to your 'best customers' (your friends and family who are potential matchmakers for you). Choose a New Year's card to send in mid-January, which avoids December's crowded mailboxes filled with everyone else's holiday cards. Include a personal handwritten note on the bottom of each card saying, 'P.S. This is the year that I have decided to find someone special with whom to spend my life. Do you know anyone to fix me up with?'" --Rachel Greenwald, author of The New York Times best-selling book Find a Husband after 35 Using What I Learned at Harvard Business School

    Not for the faint of heart, but then again, shopping for diamonds is a pretty bold move too!
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