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From The Relationship Problem Solver for Love, Marriage and Dating
Do you and your guy argue about where to go for dinner? Who left the cap off the toothpaste tube? Or is it something more serious like how to discipline your kids? No matter the problem, Dr. Kelly E. Johnson, author of The Relationship Problem Solver for Love, Marriage and Dating, can help you discover how to better communicate and come to a resolution. Read the following excerpt and discover five principles that will help you navigate your next argument
Introduction: The Real Way to Solve a Relationship Problem
Here are several things that must happen for a relationship issue to be resolved:
Step 1 in solving a relationship conflict is always the commitment to stop yelling at and berating each other in the course of talking about the problem
Principle #1: You and your partner should never keep a running tally of "wins" and "losses" in your negotiations.
Sadly this is one of the biggest mistakes that I see couples make. Believe me, most people won't admit this out loud, but they're keeping score internally, just waiting for the day they finally get to "win." When you hear your partner (or yourself) complain, "You always get your way. It's my turn now!" it's time to realize that score is being kept.
