Before you buy a Mother’s Day card, learn how to really connect with your mother this year. From communications expert Mary Marcdante's book, My Mother, My Friend, here are six tips that could make this your best Mother’s Day ever.
Six Tips for Perfect Praise
One of the most meaningful and least expensive ways to appreciate your mother is simply to tell her what you value about her. Give her a compliment. Here are six tips to help you acknowledge your mother more easily:
1. Catch her in the act of being herself at her best, doing something good, honorable, kind or helpful. Research done by Blanchard Training and Development has shown that we need twelve positive comments to overcome one negative. Dr. John Gottman, coauthor with Nan Silver of The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, found in his research that the common denominator in successful marriages is five positive gestures or statements for every one criticism. The bottom line is that everyone needs positive feedback. Check in with yourself. How often do you acknowledge your mother? Make a list of ten of her strengths, talents and skills. Write them down on a card, and read them to her. Tell her that the rules are that there is no playing down or denying that what you say is true and that if she can't think of anything to say, "Thank you" is enough.
The Power of Positive Words
2. Be specific in what you're praising. Instead of saying, "Thanks for calling, Mom," say, "Thanks Mom, for asking how my meeting went. You always remember the details of my life. I feel so loved by you."