6 Types of Men Who Will Break Your Heart

Almost as bad as serial killers are: Married Men
Unless of course you're also married, in which case you suck for cheating on your husband. Leave him and get it over with. But if you are single, it is NEVER appropriate to date a married man because:

  1. He's cheating on her, he'll cheat on you
  2. You only think you're seeing his real personality
  3. He's a big liar and is morally flawed
  4. You'll be a bit player in someone else's soap opera
  5. He'll have plenty of them, but no excuse for why he's married to someone else is ever really true. He's married to someone else because he wants to be.
  6. Don't be a sap.

Guys with Mental Problems or Addictions

And this I can say with the utmost authority in the world. Beware of:

Men Who Are Out of Their Minds

All of them. No exceptions. You really wouldn't be happy with the guy in Cuckoo's Nest.

You especially want to stay away from guys with borderline personality disorder, suicidal tendencies, even a tad of schizophrenia. No funny lovely manic-depressives. No adorable damaged narcissists. Okay, maybe a damaged narcissist or there will be no one at all.

But make it your code never to date anyone more mentally ill than you are.

And, finally,

The Addicts

Here's why you should never date anyone who is an alcoholic, a drug addict, a big ole gambler or a huffer of glue: Because, no matter what, he will break your heart.

Contrary to movies of the week, most addicts do not look or act like psychotic mass murderers with Bell's palsy. Your basic addict is not a bad person but is, in fact, too charming. He's sweet, intuitive, pretty and he gives incredible head, since an addict is sensitive, he feels things deeply, he is all exposed nerve endings and empathy.

If he walks down the street and sees a lonely soldier sitting on a stoop, he doesn't just walk on by. No way. He walks on by with his heart breaking, goes home and writes a song about a lonely soldier sitting on a stoop watching a fellow walk by. We did more drugs than I have even seen since. Jeez, those were the days.

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