Women control us.
They can catapult us into instant, spontaneous lust, and, at the same time, into a knee-buckling fear of rejection. The very thought of a ripe, firm body can tyrannize our thoughts, leaving us sweaty and panting and out of control. And the dangling promise of sex can have us jumping through every female hoop imaginable.
Not a good situation. As men, we need to learn to turn the tables on this kind of female domination; to regain the upper hand in our interaction with the opposite sex. So how do we do this? Here are a few ways to put you back in the driver's seat in your dating life.
1. Wussy not
Desperation stinks, and women can sniff out insecurity. So even if you're Brad Pitt's better-looking brother, you still need to exude tons of confidence if you want to attract the ladies. This doesn't mean arrogance or acting like a selfish jerk. It means living with a secure sense of your masculine self; a rock-solid belief in your own worthiness as a desirable man.
Don't wussy out.
Wussy guys are always seeking approval from women '- paying for female attention, pandering to their every desire, acting as if a woman is doing them a favor by even talking to them. They are desperate for sex and terrified of rejection. They hover around the fringes, hoping to get noticed by available females.
Instead of asking women out, they give them their business cards, then wait by a phone that never rings. They allow themselves to be sex-ploited by women. In other words, they act like doormats, not men. The result? Women either lose all respect and get turned off, or simply take advantage of them.
Women love confident men. So even if you feel like jelly inside, act confident around the opposite sex. Have a plan for your life. Have a direction. Work out, eat right. Feel good about yourself. Be proactive in your relations with women. All this will show on your face and women will instantly recognize it.
2. No more games
Playing hard-to-get, not returning phone calls, seeing how many hoops they can make a guy jump through '- women love to play these games. Games empower women. They instinctively know how to keep men off balance and how to keep them coming back, panting for more. Every game a woman plays is a test in her mind '- she's testing you to see how much you'll put up with (in other words, how much she can get away with), how desperate you are for sex and how successful your dating life is (the more you tolerate her tests, the more of a dating loser you are).
So if you want to get the upper hand, you absolutely haveto call her on her games. If she plays hard to get, then tell her you have no time for it, and it's been nice knowing her. If she doesn't return your call, stop calling her. Most guys do the opposite '- when a woman makes herself unavailable, they double or triple the effort of their pursuit. They call 10 times a day. They send flowers. They show up at her workplace. They play right into a woman's hands and surrender all control of the relationship. Don't do this.
3. Keep it in your pants
Women know they can control men with sex. They know that most men will do anything for even a chance at getting laid. So if you want the upper hand, you have to be the master of your domain '- you can't let Little Elvis lead you around by the nose. As soon as you need a woman, you've handed her total control on a plate. But if you change your attitude from needing to wanting, then you've taken a vital step toward upper-hand freedom.
So don't jump when she offers sex. Don't always be the one who initiates bedtime fun. If she starts playing manipulation games, act like her body doesn't turn you on. If she knows she has you by the balls, it's all over, buddy.
4. Don't be at her beck & call
Women love a challenge '- as soon as they find out they can't have something, they want it 100 times more. It's the basic stuff of their psychology. So at the start of a new relationship, be a bit aloof. Don't be a yes-man.
Take a page from her playbook and don't return all her calls. Be busy. Don't be available every weekend (and don't offer explanations about your plans). Keep her wondering if you really want to be with her. Make her work for it '- this will keep the power balance out of her clutches.
5. Develop a new attitude
Putting women on pedestals may be great for them, but it's dating suicide for guys. A lot of men act like a woman is doing them a favor by dating them, as if she's a great prize they have to prove themselves worthy of attaining. In other words, women have what men want, and men have to work hard to get it. This is just another case of handing all your power over to women. So turn this around '- change your basic attitude. You're the prize, not her. It goes hand-in-hand with your essential confidence.
6. Have a backup
Women love to get their way. They throw tantrums, they cry, they manipulate men with sexual blackmail. This is not to be tolerated, so at the first sign of any serious BS from your woman, be prepared to walk. If you roll over and wuss out, you're doomed. She's looking for control and you can't afford to give it to her. At the start of a new relationship, the Upper Hand Guy always has a few strings to his bow, so before you get too involved, it's not a bad idea to have a backup woman in your stable if your new girlfriend goes ballistic. This way, it's easy to take a walk with the knowledge that you have somewhere to go.
7. Be awesome in bed
Unlike men, women can get laid any time they desire, simply by asking. But women are far more discriminating about their sexual choices than men are '- and they are looking for great sex. To maintain the upper hand, you have to make sure you're a champion between the sheets. Most guys are so average in the sex department that if you know how to please her, she won't want to lose you. This gives you excellent upper-hand leverage.
8. Make a ton of money
If you really want the upper hand, get rich '- you will have women kissing your feet.
Stay on Top
Women love to control relationships. And too many guys just wuss out and hand over all their power, letting their sex drive get in the way of any common sense. But it doesn't have to be like this, as long as we guys make the effort to change the balance of this power, to take back the upper hand.
Ultimately, a relationship should not be about control, but about partnership '- a lesson that women will only learn if we take the upper hand and teach them.
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