By
Meg Mathur provided by Divorce Magazine -
February 6, 2003
Some names have been changed to protect the privacy of individual's mentioned in this article.
Have you thought about what you're going to do with your new life when your divorce is final? Now is a good time to re-evaluate your priorities, interests, and goals -- to give yourself a jump start. If divorce is the end of your old life, it's also the start of a new one. There are many steps you can take to rebuild your life, so make sure to take this opportunity to turn your life into one that you love.
You can choose a quick fix -- get a new look, travel somewhere you've never been, or trade in the family van for a hot new sportscar -- or long-term enrichment -- getting in touch with yourself as a person, participating in personal growth seminars, or going back to school. A quick fix isn't necessarily "a wrong choice, but it may not be sufficient," cautions Dr. Marilyn Miller, a psychologist in private practice in Toronto. "People need to develop a healthy relationship with themselves, and part of doing that is being able to nurture themselves. A quick fix may only satisfy them for a short period," she explains.
Whether you pursue "immediate gratification" or long-term enrichment, what you'll learn from the experience is like "a tool in a tool box," says Sandra Norris, a psychotherapist and associate of the Mind-Body Health Centre in Toronto. "You'll use that tool again. It's a reminder of what was done to reduce stress. [The experience] never leaves the brain."
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