'90210' Recap: Gone Baby Gone

You remember the one thing that made the last episode worth watching? Well, forget it. DJ Hottie gets way too into the illegitimate pregnancy. Suspiciously into it. Dixon crumbles under the pressure and a limp-wristed interrogation by Harry and Debbie and admits he knocked a bitch up. Debbie embraces her Type A mommy side and accompanies Dixon over to DJ Hottie's house. DJ Hottie's reluctance to dish about the baby, not to mention that she basically tells Debbie to back off, triggers Debbie's skepticism. She tracks down DJ Hottie, pokes holes in her story, and orders her to get her not-pregnant ass out of Dodge. DJ Hottie complies and Debbie covers everything up for now, telling Harry to trust her judgment and spare Dixon the unnecessary anguish. Teddy, Liam and Ivy have become The Three Dude-sketeers. As a consequence, Ivy's weepy eyes whenever Liam makes comments that she's just one of the guys don't escape Teddy's notice.

They conspire to drag Liam to some hip Hollywood party anyway, and Ivy dons a dress in a pathetic attempt to give him one of those "walking down the stairs" epiphanies. Instead, he teases her for having a vagina. At the party, Liam's mojo is taken down a notch when he sees both Jen (accompanied by Matthews) and Naomi (with her BMOC). Seeing spindly smokestack Sam Ronson would have done it for me, but I guess that's where Liam and I differ. Regardless, Teddy encourages Ivy to ride Liam like the wave of a lifetime. And she does. But she can't resist teasing him for acting girly when he warns her he doesn't want anything serious.


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