This is how it happened:
I was sitting in front of my brand new computer. I'd been sitting there for 10 days. I couldn't fathom what I'd discovered: a photolisting -- a Website filled with photographs of children who needed families. I touched the faces on the screen. I wanted to reach into the computer and comfort every child. I kept hugging myself, trying to assuage the loneliness in front of me.
Until 10 days prior, I had never been online. After years of infertility treatments, my husband and I had gotten to the point where the word NOW was relentlessly flashing in neon across our collective consciousness. Our biological daughter was eight years old, and we wanted a second child. We had decided the best way to research international adoption was online. I stumbled onto message boards. I had no idea of their existence! Suddenly I found myself immersed in other couples' stories. I read about their pain over infertility and of their adoption journeys. I realized we weren't alone! Quietly, I lurked online. I read and read and read, but I did not post. I stayed up until the wee hours of the morning searching. A little voice kept telling me to search. Search for what exactly? I didn't know. But, I felt driven. My husband began to think I was crazy for spending so much time online.
When I found the Website photolisting Precious in His Sight, I knew I would find my child. Before finding the photolistings, the children were in my mind without faces. I can't explain how palpable the sense of contact became when the words were augmented with faces. Finding myself staring into the eyes of child after child, each waiting for their forever family, I felt ashamed for having waited so long to adopt. Though adoption had been a fantasy my husband and I shared since we met in college, we had wanted two biological children first. I believe that in those initial moments of seeing the photolisting my entire life changed, and I became not only a mother searching for her child, but an adoption advocate.
I called my husband at work and excitedly told him of my discovery. That evening we sat down and together pored through the online photos. When we saw our son, a jolt swept through both of us. We will never forget the epiphanous sensation of looking at those first pictures of our son. It seemed as though we were looking into the eyes of an old soul. Love at first sight is real and amazing and can leap continents and computer screens.