OP_Tdarden: Welcome to our special guest author chat with Dr. Bonnie Eaker Weil, author of Adultery, the Forgivable Sin. She will show you how to overcome the pain of betrayal and heal the rift that adultery causes in the relationship by teaching you and your partner the gift of forgiveness.
Desaray: My husband was cheating on me too, big time!
desaray: I guess the part that bothers me still is that he could not talk to me about us, but could go to talk to a stranger.
DrBonnie: It is not unusual for your partner to find it easier to talk to a stranger. It is usually not safe for partners to talk to each other. Men are frightened of women's emotions and of them getting angry at what they say.
Desaray: We divorced and even though I want to just remember the good and be friends for the kids, it's very hard because of his attitude.
DrBonnie: There are skills you can teach your husband when he is communicating with you. You can put on an emotional bulletproof vest, so when you hear what he has to say you do not get defensive or angry. Then your husband will feel more comfortable to share his feelings with you.
Desaray: I'm so much happier with my new love, who I met online by the way, that I don't really care to think of the hell I came out of my relationship with my ex-husband.
Desaray: I think even though he doesn't realize it, my ex-husband was not happy with me, and it is all for the best.
DrBonnie: That's great that you were able to resolve it and move to a new person with minimal scars.