Desaray: There were so many other issues that troubled my past relationship. I can't pinpoint the afair as being the one bad thing. For one, he wouldn't listen to me when I talked to him.
Desaray: He was one of those people who if you said I don't like your black tie, he would say it was white.
DrBonnie: That seems to be a male thing. some pointers would be:
1. Make sure you ask for an appointment when you want to talk to him.
2. Make sure it's not during football.
3. Tell him he can take time outs during the discussion.
DrBonnie: Make it an appointment limited to 10 minutes. And ask him to put his bulletproof vest, so he doesn't take offense to the discussion.
Desaray: Good ideas.
rBonnie: This works with everyone, if you agree to sit down and do it. This is especially good for anger. So he is able to vent his anger, with permission, by appointment only, but he cannot attack you, but he can only attack your behavior.
Viggy: What is the ONE thing that a woman can look out for to know whether or not her spouse is having an afffair -- if there is ONE thing to look for?
DrBonnie: There are a few things to look for.
DrBonnie: If your partner is spending a lot of time away from home.
Viggy: Like at work?
DrBonnie: If he/she is going to work earlier and coming home later. Does the name of a particular person, like a neighbor or colleague start popping up in conversation regularly?
Viggy: He says it's overtime. He says more hours equals more money.