GMSlick: He does a lot of that but I feel like I always have to look behind myself.
DrBonnie: You will feel that for a while.
DrBonnie: It is up to him as well as you to have the courage to talk this out when you are feeling like looking behind you.
DrBonnie: In time you will feel these feel bettter about him but right now he needs to allow you those feelings as you learn slowly to trust him again.
GMSlick: I guess you're right that it just takes time.
Adiasx: My husband went away and didn't come back so we all thought he'd died. Later I had sex with aother man. Then my husband came back, but now I am pregnant with triplets. How should I tell my husband? The worst part is that two months ago I gave birth and he thinks it's his.
DrBonnie: The bummer part of this is that since you didn't have the affair, you have the hardest part which is forgiving. This is why forgiveness is a gift you give yourself and it takes a lot of courage to do it. Did your husband have an affair when he left first, before you did, or are you the only one that had an affair? Why did your husband leave? Was there a separation? Why did you think he died, did he not call you when he was away?
adiasx: What happened was the plane had an emergency landing and he never called.
DrBonnie: I see why you were so worried and upset. You probably had the affair because you were feeling abandoned. You need to really think about whether or not your husband would stay or leave you. Everyone is different, for some people it is forgivable and for others it could be the straw that breaks the camel's back.