Am I too picky?

ON Jan 1, 1999 at 12:00PM

chime in now

I feel so shallow! I'm not a picky person. My only three requirements for a man have always been the same: I need to be able to have an intelligent conversation, he must have a job, and he needs to be at least my height. Well, I've been "talking" to a really great guy via email for a while now and recently started talking on the phone. The problem? I'm 5-foot-11 and he's 5-foot-6. I'm almost afraid to meet him for fear that he's good-looking. Is a height difference really as important as I'm making it out to be? --gailn6

Question:
ABOUT THE EXPERT

Sherry Amatenstein

Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more

Dear Gail:

You're afraid to meet him for fear he's good-looking? The guy doesn't have the bubonic plague, he's just "height challenged," at least in comparison to you. I'm 5'2", so 5'6" sounds good to me. Your question shouldn't be, "Is a height difference really as important as I'm making it out to be?" but "How important is a height difference to me?" His short stature might be something you can't move beyond, or it might be surprisingly easy to, um, overlook.

I suggest you exchange online photos. His facial features might be a turn-off to you, which may lead you to decide to not take the relationship any further. But if his face looks infinitely kissable, you might want to arrange a coffee meeting and take it from there.

If you decide that his height really is a problem, don't beat yourself up about it. You're not pickier than many other people -- I've known women who've rejected a man because he wore white socks with dress shoes.

Answer:
Chime In
Chime in now!
    More to Explore
    Breastfeeding: Do you need to burp your breastfed baby? It is really not necessary to burp all breastfed babies. Many babies will bring up burps all on their own. If you notice that you are spending ten minutes or so after each feed, and are you are still not 'successful,' it probably isn't neces MORE
    Breastfeeding: How will smoking affect breastfeeding? It's great to hear that you are planning to give up smoking. Smoking does affect your health, your baby and the milk that you make. Many experts believe that it's best for a mother to continue to breastfeed her baby, even if she continues to s MORE
    How long does alcohol remain in breastmilk? Alcohol does pass freely into breastmilk, though in small amounts and in short duration. Alcohol is considered compatible with breastfeeding by the American Academy of Pediatrics Committee on Drugs and Chemicals and Human Milk. Alcohol will le MORE
    Breastfeeding: Do all Women Lose Weight while Nursing? Many mothers do find it easier to lose weight while breastfeeding than at any other time. Unfortunately, this is not true for all nursing moms, as you have found out. This is an area that has not been well studied, though in the book, & MORE
    Breastfeeding: Do you need to avoid garlic or spicy foods? Your concern about whether or not to temporarily stop eating certain foods is a very common one for the nursing mother. Luckily, most babies are not bothered by their mom's varied (or spicy) diet. Garlic, in sufficient quantity, will alter the MORE
    Can breastfeeding make you gain weight? Typically, studies have shown that breastfeeding women tend to lose weight more rapidly than their formula feeding counterparts. (Bradshaw & Pfeiffer, 1988, Kramer et al 1993, Dewey et al 1993) In one study breastfeeding mothers were back to their MORE
    More Q&As

    See All Q&As

    Advertisement
    Care Circle

    It Seems That You Are Not Logged In...

    OR

    Join Now

    Welcome to Care Circle, an exclusive tool to help you take care of yourself and your loved ones. Here's how it works:

    1. Create profiles for yourself and your loved ones.
    2. Select the topics and conditions that interest each of you.
    3. Get customized news updates, original content, tools, and expert advice for each Care Circle member delivered directly to your personalized homepage.

    The information you input is strictly private; you choose who has access to your Care Circle.

    How do I add myself or someone else to my care circle?

    Click on "Add someone." Fill out the short profile. Choose an avatar. Select the topics and conditions that interest this person from the pulldown menu. You can select as many as you want, but you must choose at least one. Click on "Add Someone" again. You should start getting updates immediately.

    How do I save content to my Care Circle?

    Click on "Manage My Care Circle." Select the tab of the person for whom you're saving content. Put your cursor over the piece of content that you want to save; a disk icon will appear in the righthand corner. Click on the disk and the piece of content will be moved to a save folder.

    How do I add additional topics and conditions for someone in my Care Circle?

    Click on "Manage My Care Circle." Select the tab for the person whose preferences you'd like to update. Under "Add More to Follow," select additional topics and conditions.

    How do I delete topics and conditions for someone in my Care Circle?

    Click on "Manage My Care Circle." Select the tab for the person whose preferences you'd like to update. Under "Follows," scroll over the topic or condition you want to delete. An "X" should appear on the righthand side. Click on the "X" and the topic or condition will be deleted from the list.

    See All News

    Advertisement