Am I urinating or ejaculating during orgasm?

Dear Dr. Patti:

I am a 25-year-old woman, and for as long as I have been having sex , I urinate every time I orgasm. My boyfriend is understanding, but I can tell he is grossed out by it. I've seen a doctor about it, and they were of little help. What can I do?

A

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Dear A:

My first concern is over whether you are really peeing during or after sex. If so, you need a good uro-gynecological workup pronto. Perhaps you have a bladder, urinary tract or kidney infection or condition that's showing up in this way. Get another opinion right away. If urinary incontinence is a problem, you might also use Allurex. This natural product, which I often recommend for sexual stimulation, has as a positive side effect on urinary leakage during sex. You can get it at http://www.allurex.com or at my site, http://www.yoursexcoach.com.

If this is not an actual urinary problem, then I suspect that you are experiencing what we call "female ejaculation" after orgasm. This appears to be urination just after sex but is actually something quite different. Female ejaculation, like male ejaculation, seems to be the result of the orgasmic release, and it occurs most often when the woman's G-spot is stimulated. The G-spot (which is not a spot at all but a region) is most likely the urethral sponge and is thought to be a vestigial organ behind the vaginal wall that produces a fluid that can be emitted, or even shoot out in streams, at the point of orgasmic release. When it is released, as in a G-spot orgasm, this genital fluid comes out of the urethra. That's why it is also so confusing to detect as a sexual fluid and not urine. To find your G-spot, feel about one-third up the front of the vagina; it's found best when you are already aroused. There you will feel a slight pulsation and a smoother texture to the inner walls. (See In Search of Her G-Spot for more info.) A good video to get is How to Female Ejaculate by Fannie Fatale, which is available at my site at www.yoursexcoach.com; it talks openly and shows how female ejaculation occurs.

There are women who take great joy and pride in being able to ejaculate. This is an enhanced state, if your body wants to go that way. So, perhaps you and your boyfriend need to adjust to this new reality and stop getting grossed out. Instead, know that your body is an instrument that plays symphonically, not just a thin tune. By integrating this into your lovemaking, with preparation such as rubber sheets and plenty of towels, and especially armed with the knowledge that you are okay, this can bring you both to new heights of ecstasy. If not, perhaps you and yours need to seek counseling to accept this fact of life for you. Best of luck.

Visit Dr. Patti's website at www.yoursexcoach.com for more advice.

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