Did Amber Portwood ReallySay HerSuicide Attempt Was "Wonderful"?

According to Life & Style, the Teen Mom star told on-off boyfriend Gary Shirley that trying to kill herself was "euphoric"

Teen Mom star Amber Portwood survived her attempted suicide on Tuesday -- but even though she's alive, it sounds like she's still not well. According to a secondhand report from a source close to her on-again-off-again boyfriend Gary Shirley, 21-year-old Portwood tried to kill herself after she and Shirley had an argument -- and then told him in the hospital that her suicide attempt had felt "euphoric" and "wonderful."

The source close to Shirley (who is the father of Portwood's 2-year-old daughter Leah) reportedly told Life & Style that the incident began when a furious Amber called Gary on Wednesday morning.

"She said she was mad because he cheated on her, but he thinks that was just (an excuse) to pick a fight with him, because it happened two years ago," says the source. "She said she was so upset, she was going to kill herself."

The source says that Shirley, who has heard her make this threat before, told her to go ahead, and Amber told her that he could find her body in the garage with a rope around her neck. Then she reportedly hung up. Shirley, now frightened, texted her multiple times, but she didn't respond.

Shirley then asked his mother to check on Portwood. She arrived at Portwood's house, found the door locked, and called the police. When the landlord let them in, the police found Portwood with a rope around her neck. At the hospital, she claimed that she had taken "a cocktail of pills."

But that's not the most disturbing thing Portwood revealed. According to the magazine's source, Portwood told Shirley at the hospital that trying to kill herself "was the best feeling."

"I love the way it made me feel," Portwood allegedly told her shocked boyfriend. "It was euphoric. It was wonderful."

The source says that the comment made Shirley "feel like trash -- to be standing there with the mother of his child, who just attempted suicide." The couple fought and Shirley left her at the hospital.

Why would she say such a thing -- assuming she did say what Life & Style has reported (none of the magazine's info has been confirmed)? It sounds like Amber's mental health may be precarious at the moment. Portwood has admitted that she has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder. But in a conversation with People last summer, the young mother questioned that diagnosis and admitted that she doesn't always take her medication. With last week's court hearing on her mind (Portwood struck a plea deal to avoid jail time for domestic battery), a young child to take care of, and a history of depression, Portwood may have found relief in the idea of escaping it all. Sadly, in Portwood's case, suicide would also mean abandoning a very young child. It sounds like she needs some serious counseling and medication, for both her own sake and her daughter's. We really hope she's getting it.

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