American Idol - "Just Try, For Once, Not To Be Annoying."

Everybody know this one was two hours? Not me! The hope being, of course, that it all amounts to slightly less than an hour's worth of actual shit to care about. And by "hope" I mean "duh." The most amazing thing about the Chair this year is that, instead of the face-offs being brutal in a completely emotional fashion, they will also involve actual Motherf*cking Singoffs, in the You Got Served standard. That is the best news I have maybe ever heard. Way to go, show.

0700 hours on the last day of all Hollywood. Tatiana informs us that if she loses today, she loses everything. Hopefully her obnoxiously good voice will crumble somehow. Also, the Chair happens at this amazing mansion that is reminiscent of both Wickedly Perfect and Joe Schmo, the two reality shows I most fervently wish we were watching.

Anoop! Anoop! Anoop Is On Fire! We don't need no folklore, let the BBQ burn! He's wearing his best Amber Tamblyn scarf as he enters the opulent wonderland that is Marilyn Mansion looking supremely confident. The limit does not exist! Kara tells him he's always amazing, and we see him sing "What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted," and remembers how he had a fiddly time in Hollywood -- but ultimately (per Randy) Anoop in the house. So that's one.

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