American Idol - "A Lot Of People Fear Physics."

We begin with Simon and Ryan in the back of a limo, babbling incessantly and giggling and holding hands, talking about Florida and how Simon has repeatedly requested that Ryan not use his radio voice in front of him. "Here we are in Florida," they say one hundred times, in many different voices ranging from deep cop porn voice to slightly less deep porn voices. It's at the same time very improvised and very practiced, authentic and fake all at once, which is after all precisely where the magic of Ryan resides. It's fun, sort of flesh-crawlingly weird, and over all too soon.

There is much footage of Randy Jackson in Journey, wearing those sad clothes he used to wear when he was in journey, although I'm unsure of the... Oh. Jackson. Jacksonville. Got it. "Don't Stop Believing." Back in the limo, Simon and Ryan dish about how they've got a police escort and how Randy has just changed because of his fame. I don't know about this, I don't know about focusing even one second of our time on Randy, but it takes an ass to fill every seat.

Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.

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