American Idol - "Was That A Threat?" "That Was A Threat."

What I know about Louisville Kentucky is that I like the way people say it. You know that way that I'm talking about? Like they're speaking French and they elide the first half of the word? I thought it was just people from Indiana that said it that way, but now it seems like more people say it that way than the way you might think... And never mind, because that's what the show is talking about, so whatever. Scooped again by Seacrest. I wasn't really going anywhere with it anyway, to be honest. Kara blows a horn at the Downs, nerds are outside with their moms, and then: a whole family of vampires, walking around in the Kentucky sunlight. Her mom and dad talk all slow and creepy, and she looks like a dead person. Their whole family looks like the bad guys in a Chick Tract, like they move into the neighborhood and start celebrating Halloween and tempting you with candy and they put on magic robes and play Dungeons & Dragons and it's all fun and games until suddenly they're making you eat razor blades for Satan in their basement when all you wanted to do was watch some MTV and maybe have an abortion. Shoulda thought twice.

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