American Idol - Two Inches Or A Yard

Smokey Robinson has been watching the show all along, and agrees that this season is the awesomest, but not in that way where the current season is the best thing ever. I think he actually thinks that. He is a sweet man, I think. He seems really earnest. I wonder when his birthday is... Man, astrology is so dumb because it's always right. Smokey Robinson is on the cusp of Pisces and Aquarius, so he literally is the nicest man out of every 365.25 people. Maybe every day is his best day ever. Simon is smack in the middle of Libra, which makes sense because people always get confused about whether or not he's a dick, or just right.

Ryan and Simon keep getting into this fight that so boring I had to rewind it a hundred times. So I guess on the Tonight Show Simon said that either Diddy or Obama tried to schedule lunch with him, and he blew it off to have lunch with the other one. None of which is true. And I guess that some blogger or something ran with it, so now Ryan has to do the obligatory "let's clear something up," which always irritates Simon, rightfully, and anyway: Whatever you thought happened on the Tonight Show was not what happened, because it was a joke. And it's a small but I think integral moment of personal revolution that I will now refuse to clear up the clearing up business by finding out what the eff they are talking about. Seacrest, you can consider me actively revolting. Just like Speidi.

Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.

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