American Idol - "We're Not Allowed To Show That!"

The judges tonight -- besides Simon, who's wearing some high-rise jeans -- are dressed like auditioners: the guy one in Mathlete cardigan, Kara wearing an evening dress well before its appointed hour, and Paula wearing the native costume of Those Auditioners That Always Love Paula Too Much: big poofy skirt, giant bow, breastplate, shoes with little Namor wings. Ryan comes bounding down the stairs under a light so bright and so big that it looks like his head has finally gone nova. I can already tell I don't have time for this shit tonight. How long until it's not two hours anymore? Everybody's over the Influenza B, but not over Alexis' disappearance. You know what? I'm over both. The Judgery say they're not, but they are too. Kara is a little bitchy: "She's a good singer, she just picked some bad songs the last... Few.... Times." Paula and Ryan talk about how cute they look, and then are going on a date. Simon tells her to cram it and get off his man. Paula says she wants the Idols to express their artistic integrity and "switch it up" tonight.

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