American Idol - It Burns! Burns! Burns!

Yep, the big intro of the judges is here to stay. So dumb. They walk out onstage like the proud young ambiguous icons in the opener, and there's all kinds of applause, and it's insane. Kara is dressed like some kind of space senator, which is sort of awesome; she and Paula canoodle all cutely even though they were just backstage canoodling. Then there's this weird little blip where everything turns green and there are like six notes of some sort of jig and Ryan says that after a couple of pints this show might be enjoyable. Or something like that, I'm paraphrasing. I was raised to really, really hate St. Patrick's Day and what it stands for, but I don't want to fight about it so we're moving on.

Last week sucked for Jasmine and Jorge, whom the judges simply refused to save. I think at some point I'm going to hate the bait and switch with the Power of Veto, but I still think it's hilarious. "Sing, monkey! Sing like it matters! Oh, but it didn't. Ha!" That's humor. Plus, I heard that they already have the Top 4 decided (Danny, Adam, Lil and Alexis) so the next six weeks are more about watching Megan and Allison dress like a concussed Betty Suarez and Emily the Strange With Boots Made For Kicking, respectively, and sitting on the edge of your chair hoping nothing f*cked up happens to Scott on live TV.

Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.

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