American Idol - Chairmen Of The Bored

Nothing to report of the megawattage they'd have us believe last night was made of, beyond Jamie Foxx wrapping things up by still being weird, and clawing at the camera like a cat, all "Let's shock the world!" You know what's shocking? Fighting with Miley Cyrus after you've won an Oscar. Anyway, Ryan shoots some finger guns after walking down the steps in a genteel fashion, and then who do my little eyes spy but Vanessa Abrams herself, Jessica Szohr. Maybe she's going to do one of her Dove ads about Kara DioGuardi's imaginary eating disorder.

Tonight, KD is wearing a weird silver neckline that looks like it was pleated and pinned by a Project Runway contestant about six seconds ago, while Paula's got ginormous earrings from the Renaissance Olde Tymes and a matching giant head broach right above her ear that makes her look like she's in a Star Trek religion. She looks lovely, so does Simon, and Randy is still classless. Simon says that he's amazed, on rewatch, by just how good everybody was, which they were, and says that it was the best Top 5 episode ever, which it was. He says any of them have the chance to win at this point, and he's sort of stunned by this realization.

Continue reading this entry on Television Without Pity.

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