American Idol - "I Saw An Evil! In Her Eyes!"

Group night! The night for which we wait all year: tears, triumphs, and tragedies! Cursing and cuties! Foolishness and freaking out! Sabotage and the supercilious! Exhaustion and emotional volatility! People thinking they know best even though they don't!

9 PM, Kodak Theatre. 107 sleepy kids, including Rose and Nathaniel and a bunch of other people, forty contestants lighter than when Hollywood started. We're not even getting started on this until 9? I hope they starved them and made them run laps around the theatre too, so they can get started going nuts even earlier than usual.

They show all the people getting into groups, and just like every year it's shaking granola: all the people of the right qualities find each other. The big granola at the top is like: Awful Emily, the Osmond, blind guy, Von, Castro, those two blonde guys with six names between them. Then there's the unpolished granola like Rose, or this cute southern guy who can't find a group. Then there's the troubled granola like Nathaniel and Tatiana.

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