'American Idol' Recap: Ahoy, Polloi!

So the opening sequence is a very meaningful thing with the lights and the backlit people talking, as though this were a movie. Which is a great idea, I guess, except none of these people including Jamie Foxx has anything in particular to say, so it's like Million Dollar Baby, but with singing.

They should have done it in the style of Powder or something, and had some football players horsing around. Like in the rain. Remember when Taylor Swift sang in the rain, but onstage? Did she ever do that on this show, or just on the YouTube? That was great. Or maybe it was Justin Bieber that did that. It's all the same, I guess. I am so not looking forward to any of this.

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