'American Idol' Recap: She's A Snarl-Toothed Bieber!

As if the usual Wednesday intro wasn't bombastic enough, they've spliced it this week with Clash Of The Titans clips, which is funny on several levels but mostly just stupid. You got old what's-his-face screaming about the death of the Gods and then boom: Andrew Garcia. Like, yes, this show does presage the End of Days, but more in like a Winona Ryder way and with less robot owls. If that movie doesn't have a robot owl, I shall sit right down and write a letter on some stationery.

If Simon Cowell were a mythological creature -- not saying that he's not, but if he were in this movie -- he wouldn't be the Kraken, he would be the Sphinx: Do the right thing or get your head chomped. Kara would be, like, Artemis's low-self-esteem younger sister. Randy Jackson would be Poseidon, most boringest of the Gods and the Aquaman of antiquity. 

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