Live from Los Angeles (with portions pre-recorded) it's America's Got Talent! As you are well aware, our Final Five are performing tonight. Who are the finalists? Who cares? We're being preempted by President George Bush speaking about the multi billion-dollar bail-out. George is wearing a serious black suit, serious red tie, serious crisp white shirt, and very serious flag pin. He is staring straight at the camera, out of the television, and into my soul. It's a little freaky. And the words he's reading so gracefully off the teleprompter are not helping ease my mind. In closing, however, Democratic capitalism is the best system ever devised. Wow. Suck that Russia! As the President ends his speech, Brian Williams comes on to remind us that this is the worst financial disaster in more than an entire generation. But, on the brighter side... Live from Los Angeles (with portions pre-recorded) it's America's Got Talent!
Did they hold the start of the show for the President's Address? Darn it, they did. Jerry explains it all: The President spoke, so the show will be shorter. I'll type fast. Five acts, one winner, we decide. Jerry rapidly introduces a fast-forwarded montage of what winning would mean to the Final Five. Queen Emily is so excited. Donald Braswell is so close. Nuttin' But Stringz have come from playing in the subways to possibly playing Vegas. Eli Mattson was lost, but now he's found (and so was his hat). Neal E. Boyd came from nothing, and now he's here! So much emotion! But enough of this emotion, we have some acts to watch!
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