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Amanda Bynes' Twitter plea to Barack Obama may not have gotten a response from the president, but it did elicit a hilarious one from Anderson Cooper. On Tuesday, after being charged with misdemeanor DUI, the 26-year-old actress tweeted the president's reelection campaign, asking Obama to personally intervene and "fire the cop who arrested me." The Obama campaign did not intervene, for obvious reasons (reason No. 1: They do not have the power to fire police officers), and on Wednesday, CNN's Anderson Cooper 360 aired a "Ridiculist" inspired by Bynes' self-important tweet. Watch below!
Cooper's segment has nothing to do with the actual DUI charge, or with Amanda Bynes' assertion that she was falsely charged. (She has repeatedly stated that she does not drink.) Rather, he takes issue with the bizarre notion that a sitting president in the midst of a reelection campaign would take time out to intervene in a C-list celebrity's DUI case. With that in mind, Cooper introduced his "very first Ridiculist spin-off": "Things More Important Than Amanda Bynes' Tweets."
"Now, I know what you're thinking: Basically, anything is more important than Amanda Bynes' tweets, right? But I just want you to be clear on the bar that we have set," the news anchor explained. "For example, we learned today that Miley Cyrus is getting married to Hunger Games star Liam Hemsworth... when compared to an Amanda Bynes tweet, it is basically Watergate, the moon landing and the Oscars rolled into one."
Other things more important than an Amanda Bynes tweet, in Cooper's eyes? Kanye West's tweets about his fashion preferences (i.e. his May 5 declaration that "I Hate big ass striped scarves") and a viral video of a water skiing squirrel.
"That's Twiggy and I could watch Twiggy all day," Cooper said of the squirrel. "You will never see Twiggy on his iPhone, tweeting a complaint to President Obama."
Seriously, can you imagine if other celebrities hit up the president on Twitter every time they were in trouble? We can just see it now...
"@BarackObama Help! My marriage is not working out. Can u and Michelle give us lessons?" -- Kim Kardashian
"@BarackObama Plz tell the cops that was not my purse with the cocaine. Also plz tell them to give it back cuz I liked that one." -- Paris Hilton
"@BarackObama I lost my job. Can u hire me?" -- Charlie Sheen
Despite the ridicule, Amanda Bynes has not removed her original tweet begging for Obama's help. She faces a misdemeanor charge for allegedly hitting a police car while driving at 3 a.m., and is facing a maximum penalty of 48 hours in jail, three years probation, an alcohol rehab program and a one-year drivers' license suspension. She has entered a plea of not guilty.