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Anxiety: Using Positive Thinking
Watch your thoughts
The first step is to notice your thoughts, or "self-talk." Self-talk is what you think and believe about yourself and your experiences. It's like a running commentary in your head. Your self-talk may be positive and helpful. Or it may be negative and not helpful.
Check your thoughts
The next step is to check your thoughts to see if they are true. Look at what you're saying to yourself. Does the evidence support your negative thought? Some of your self-talk may be true. Or it may be partly true, but exaggerated.
One of the best ways to see if you are worrying too much is to look at the odds. What are the odds, or chances, that the bad thing you are worried about will happen? If you have a job review that has one small criticism among many compliments, what are the odds that you really are in danger of losing your job? The odds are probably low.
There are several kinds of irrational thoughts. Here are a few types to look for:
- Focusing on the negative: This is sometimes called filtering. You filter out the good and focus only on the bad. Example: "I get so nervous speaking in public. I just know that people are thinking about how bad I am at speaking." Reality: Probably no one is more focused on your performance than you. It may help to look for some evidence that good things happened after one of your presentations. Did people applaud afterward? Did anyone tell you that you did a good job?
- Should: People sometimes have set ideas about how they "should" act. If you hear yourself saying that you or other people "should," "ought to," or "have to" do something, then you might be setting yourself up to feel bad. Example: "I have to be in control all the time or I can't cope with things." Reality: There's nothing wrong with wanting to have some control over the things that you can control. But you may cause yourself anxiety by worrying about things that you can't control.
- Overgeneralizing: This is taking one example and saying it's true for everything. Look for words such as "never" and "always." Example: "I'll never feel normal. I worry about everything all the time." Reality: You may worry about many things. But everything? Is it possible you are exaggerating? Although you may worry about many things, you also may find that you feel strong and calm about other things.
- All-or-nothing thinking: This is also called black-or-white thinking. Example: "If I don't get a perfect job review, then I'll lose my job." Reality: Most performance reviews include some constructive criticism—something you can work on to improve. If you get five positive comments and one constructive suggestion, that is a good review. It doesn't mean that you're in danger of losing your job.
- Catastrophic thinking: This is assuming that the worst will happen. This type of irrational thinking often includes "what if" questions. Example: "I've been having headaches lately. I'm so worried. What if it's a brain tumor?" Reality: If you have lots of headaches, you should see a doctor. But the odds are that it's something more common and far less serious. You might need glasses. You could have a sinus infection. Maybe you're getting tension headaches from stress.
Correct your thoughts
After you check the truth of the thought, the next step is to correct it. Replace the unhelpful thought with a more positive, helpful one.
Keeping a journal of your thoughts is one of the best ways to practice watching, checking, and correcting your thoughts. It makes you aware of your self-talk. Write down any negative or unhelpful thoughts you had during the day. If you think you might not remember them at the end of your day, keep a notepad with you so that you can write down any thoughts as they happen. Then write down helpful messages to correct the negative thoughts.
If you do this every day, positive or helpful thoughts will soon come naturally to you.
But there may be some truth in some of your negative thoughts. You may have some things you want to work on. If you didn't perform as well as you would like on something, write that down. You can work on a plan to correct or improve that area.
If you want, you also could write down what kind of irrational thought you had. Journal entries might look something like this:
Watch for negative thought | Check the type of thought | Correct with a positive thought |
"I get so nervous speaking in public. I just know that people are thinking about how bad I am at speaking." | Focusing on negative | "I'm probably better at public speaking than I think I am. The last time I gave a talk, people applauded afterward." |
"My headaches must mean there is something seriously wrong with me." | Catastrophic thinking | "A lot of things can cause headaches. Most of them are minor and go away." |
"I'll never feel normal. I worry about everything all the time." | Overgeneralizing | "I've laughed and relaxed before. I can practice letting go of my worries." |
"I have to be in control all the time or I can't cope with things." | Should | "I can only control how I think about things or what I do. I can't control some things, like how other people feel and act." |
Test Your Knowledge
Which of these thoughts is an example of positive thinking?
I'll always be terrible at standardized tests.This is an example of an irrational thought called overgeneralizing. You may have done poorly on some standardized tests. But did you really do badly on every test you took? Chances are you're being too hard on yourself. With some preparation—some extra studying and relaxation exercises—you can perform well on tests.
That date didn't go well. I was a little nervous, so I didn't talk much. Maybe I can learn some ways to relax before the next time I go out.This is a positive thought. You're admitting that you were nervous. But you also are thinking in a positive way about how you could be less nervous next time.
How can a daily journal help you have more positive thoughts?
It makes you aware of your self-talk and can help you come up with helpful thoughts to correct an irrational thought.Both answers are correct. A daily journal can make you aware of your self-talk and have more positive thoughts. As soon as you write down an unhelpful thought, you can write a positive thought to correct it.
Writing in the journal every day will help positive thinking come naturally to you.Both answers are correct. Writing in the journal every day will help positive thinking come naturally to you. It takes some practice. It took a long time for negative thinking to become automatic. So it may take some time to get used to having positive thoughts.
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Anxiety: Using positive thinking
| Author: | Marianne Flagg | Last Updated: August 27, 2008 |
| Medical Review: | Catherine D. Serio, PhD - Behavioral Health Lisa S. Weinstock, MD - Psychiatry | |
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