Are all handsome men pigs?
Dear Sherry,
Why is it that all the good-looking guys are either annoying, conceited, money-hungry, gay, bisexual or just plain-out rude and inconsiderate of your feelings? A guy actually had the nerve to ask me yesterday if I was a guy or a girl. I was so upset I almost punched him. This is no way to speak to someone if you are trying to get their telephone number. At least I don't think so.
Fed Up
Question:Sherry Amatenstein
Sherry is the author of The Q&A Dating Book and Love Lessons from Bad Breakups. She has taught dating seminars, appeared as an expert... Read more
Dear Fed Up,
I will address your question from the bottom up: In no corner of the globe, does proper date-asking etiquette include inquiring of your intended companion whether she is a man or woman. In fact, I'll bet even Emily Post would give the recipient of such a punch-in-the-ego question permission to deliver a literal blow. This guy is a four-star jerk whose opinion you should pay no attention to.
On to your philosophical observation re: all the good-looking guys being either gay, bi, annoying, etc., etc. . . . While in my most insecure moments (yes, even an advice columnist suffers more than a few) I've had similar musings, my policy is not to damn all members of the male gender with great pecs but to use the "courtroom courtesy" of judging an individual innocent until he's proven otherwise.
This policy will serve you well because if you maintain a negative attitude toward men and romance . . . well, have you ever heard the term "self-fulfilling prophecy"? Keep telling yourself, "I'll never find someone who treats me well" -- and, voila! -- it will be so. If you project negativity and hopelessness, you attract it. And vice versa.
If it makes you feel any better, hang out in a bar and listen to guys drooping into their beers, lamenting about how beautiful women treat them like dirt. Discourtesy is not a gender-based affliction.
Sherry
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