Are condoms affecting my boyfriend's performance?
My boyfriend and I have just started having sex, but he does not seem to enjoy it as much as he should. Why do I think so? Every time he puts the condom on, his penis becomes less erect. Is the problem with him or me or the condom? --from iVillager sweetcharmer138
Question:Your question is a good one and not that uncommon. It can take a while to adjust when you use a condom for birth control or protecting yourselves from sexually spread diseases. I have the sense that your boyfriend is also inexperienced with sexual intercourse and still needs to get used to the feeling of wearing a condom. Some men report that they actually prefer using a condom because it dulls their sensations enough to slow down their urge to orgasm -- and make sex last longer. Others, like your lover, say that they cannot maintain hardness while wearing a condom because it desensitizes them or makes them feel entirely different sexual sensations.
Your boyfriend can train himself to stay hard with a condom by practicing using one with solo sex, or masturbating. After a while he may no longer feel the difference between contact with and without the condom -- and may be able to sustain his erection. Another suggestion is for him to experiment with different kinds, brands and shapes of condoms. Maybe if he used one with a looser fit around the rim it would also feel more comfortable. (Go to Durex online to learn more about condoms.) Also, encourage him to let you help him practice, too, so you can make this a pleasant part of your sex together, not a burden.
All the best,
Dr. Patti
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