Are gifts and a shower appropriate for a reaffirmation ceremony?

My husband and I got married before a justice of the peace. Is it appropriate to have an actual wedding with all the trimmings in a few years? If so, is my matron of honor still expected to throw a shower?

--from inon

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Dear inon,

It's fine to have a party in a few years, at which time you and your husband pull out all the bells and whistles of a wedding celebration. But it's not appropriate to have attendants (unless they are your children) because it will be more like a vow renewal ceremony and celebration. The difference is that, at a wedding, attendants are essentially ushering you into married life.

For the same reason, a shower would be inappropriate. The intention behind a shower is to stock the bride's married house with things she'll need -- cookware, linens, china -- to keep a comfortable home. In a few years, you'll have acquired such things already.

Best of luck,
The Wedding Women

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