Are gifts and a shower appropriate for a reaffirmation ceremony?
My husband and I got married before a justice of the peace. Is it appropriate to have an actual wedding with all the trimmings in a few years? If so, is my matron of honor still expected to throw a shower?
It's fine to have a party in a few years, at which time you and your husband pull out all the bells and whistles of a wedding celebration. But it's not appropriate to have attendants (unless they are your children) because it will be more like a vow renewal ceremony and celebration. The difference is that, at a wedding, attendants are essentially ushering you into married life.
For the same reason, a shower would be inappropriate. The intention behind a shower is to stock the bride's married house with things she'll need -- cookware, linens, china -- to keep a comfortable home. In a few years, you'll have acquired such things already.
Best of luck,
The Wedding Women