Are gifts and a shower appropriate for a reaffirmation ceremony?

My husband and I got married before a justice of the peace. Is it appropriate to have an actual wedding with all the trimmings in a few years? If so, is my matron of honor still expected to throw a shower?

--from inon


Read more

Dear inon,

It's fine to have a party in a few years, at which time you and your husband pull out all the bells and whistles of a wedding celebration. But it's not appropriate to have attendants (unless they are your children) because it will be more like a vow renewal ceremony and celebration. The difference is that, at a wedding, attendants are essentially ushering you into married life.

For the same reason, a shower would be inappropriate. The intention behind a shower is to stock the bride's married house with things she'll need -- cookware, linens, china -- to keep a comfortable home. In a few years, you'll have acquired such things already.

Best of luck,
The Wedding Women

Need Advice?
Get answers from iVillage experts and other moms just like you!
Question Details
  1. Pick a subject: