Are You Trying? How to Handle Questions About Getting Pregnant

Questions that make you cringe and surefire ways to handle them

There comes a point in a married woman's life, usually three to five days after the wedding, when the world wants to know if the newlyweds have begun their quest toward parenthood. Like it or not, there's a certain life path women are expected to take '- single, dating, engaged, married, children, empty nest, Florida timeshare... dead. Any deviations from this path can cause quite a stir, so women are barraged with questions throughout their lives to track their progress and keep them moving along: 

  • Are you seeing anyone? (Single woman)
  • Is it serious? (Single woman with new boyfriend)
  • Do you think you'll get married? (Single woman with serious boyfriend)
  • Have you set the date? (Newly engaged woman)
  • Are you trying? (Married woman, no kids)
  • Is she an only child? (Married woman with one child '- nine months or older)
  • Are you planning to have more kids? (Married woman with one to five children)


When you first start trying to conceive, you may be so excited about the prospect of parenthood that you welcome any opportunity to share your bedroom efforts with anyone. But, as time goes by and your plans don't unfold as expected, even the most harmless questions can seem overwhelming. Suddenly you feel like an A-list celebrity being stalked by the paparazzi, and the only thing everyone wants to know is "Are you trying?"

Plan Long Term... Pray Short Term
No one knows how long it's going to take to get pregnant. There are women who have been plagued by feminine problems their whole lives and are convinced they'll never conceive. These are usually the women who find themselves pregnant the first month they are birth control free. And then there are women who are in peak physical condition, whose cycles are so regular you could synchronize your watch, but who unfortunately struggle for years to conceive. There is no rhyme or reason when it comes to fertility.

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