Are You Trying? How to Handle Questions About Getting Pregnant

Questions that make you cringe and surefire ways to handle them

If you fall into the "this is much harder than I expected" group, you may be surprised at your shifting attitude. At first you get tired of hearing the same old questions about your plans for parenthood but you continue to humor the meddler with a canned response that, yes, you are trying, and force a smile when they reply, "Trying is the best part."

A few more months pass and the questions start to feel like a spotlight on your failure '- you cringe each time you are cornered. You just want to curl up in your bed and be left alone until you have good news to share.

And finally you shift from weak, helpless kitten to Rambo. You not only expect the questions, you fantasize about the inevitable run-in with a nosy neighbor and have a series of responses all planned out:

Question: Are you going to have kids?
Your Answer:
1) We can't. I'm barren.
2) It's not likely. My husband suffers from erectile dysfunction. (Optional: Add "hereditary" when asked by a particularly nosy in-law.)
3) We're going to start trying as soon as I complete my electroshock therapy.
4) We've decided to get a boat instead.
5) We were going to, until we spent the day with your kids.

While your fantasy responses may be a bit over the top, and clearly not appropriate in most situations, they are still fun to think about, don't you agree? In reality, we found the key to managing the endless inquisition is to have a plan. When someone unexpectedly asks you a pointed question about something as personal as your plans for a baby, you can be left feeling unguarded and vulnerable. The next thing you know, you're spilling your guts about your unpredictable ovaries to a colleague while in line for the salad bar.

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